Because I’m a pusher. I push people.
Most of the time I push, push, push. Our afternoons after school are filled with proprioceptive work, some vestibular thrown in, and some manual work to integrate reflexes. Then we read the book he’s brought home from school and we do writing practice each night. Then we’ll play- but playing is still pushing because I want him to do a puzzle or a board game- things that he doesn’t always love. I push when I force him to take his supplements (yes he’s gone backward in that aspect again), eat a vegetable at dinner, and brush his teeth.
I push when I call the school and email the therapists. I push when I tell them I want frequent updates. I push when I ask for certain evaluations.
I’m definitely a pusher, but sometimes I’m tired of pushing. Sometimes I think pushing isn’t making for the happiest of boys. Sometimes I just want to be normal and just enjoy a day with no pushing.
Someone mentioned to me recently that recess time would be the perfect time for someone to really push Brian to make peer connections. I don’t agree. I have seen him at recess, he runs around in big looping circles and jumping in every puddle he can find. All with the happiest, biggest smile on his face. Does it make me feel a little sad that he isn’t holding hands with peers and making up imaginary games? Of course it does. But he’s happy at these moments. In my opinion, he is working so hard at school with academics and the constant push to talk and interact with peers, that he deserves that outside time to just be. To just be him.
School, talking, making friends, EVERYTHING is so much harder for him and really requires much more energy than we give him credit for. I think he deserves parts of his day to just do what he wants and do whatever it is that makes him happy.
So there I said it. I’m not always a pusher, sometimes I’m just a slacker.
What about you? Where do you draw the line of when to push and when to just let it be?