“I wish I never had a brother with autism!”
I can’t believe how those words always cut right to my heart. I think I’d rather hear “I hate you” than that. My eyes instantly water and my mind begins racing and I just feel like I’m failing somehow.
To be fair to Corbin and his emotional outburst, it was a really hard day. Autism and OCD levels were through the roof and I felt like I had lost every bit of sanity and patience I could muster up. I was barely holding it together and felt like screaming at the top of my lungs too. I can’t imagine what my 9-year-old was feeling. (And let me tell you, Brian’s moods exacerbate Corbin’s moods. He wasn’t no angel today either.)
I started to write a super-long post about all of the incidences today that included eloping, screaming, crying, gastrointestinal issues, self-injury, repetitive door-closing and light-switching, and high-pitched shrieks. However, reliving it through writing was just depressing me even more. So I’ll do like Emerson and wait for tomorrow to arrive. It is a new day.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.